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REFLECTIONS ON LOVING
(from the book, Born for Love by Leo Buscaglia)

Love requires effort
Love never dies a natural death. It dies form neglect and abandonment. It dies of blindness and indifference and of being taken for granted. Things omitted are often more deadly than errors committed.
In the end, love dies of weariness, from not being nurtured. We donít really fall out of love any more than we fall into it. When love dies, one or both partners have neglected it, have failed to replenish and renew it. Like any other living, growing thing, love requires effort to keep it healthy.

"The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love." (W. Somerset Maugham)

Failure in love
There is no failure where love is concerned. To be unsuccessful is not the same a failure. Our disappointment is more likely to provide an opportunity to learn and to grow.
If we donít risk loving, we will never fail in love. But much worse, we will also never experience its wonder. As Lloyd Jones assures us, those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better off than those who try to do nothing and succeed.
We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isnít. Success often lies just the other side of failure.
As long as we continue to seek love, some failure is bound to occur. But hurt is a strong impetus for action. When we seek to find the causes of our failures, we always emerge wiser. We gain new alternatives for our old behaviors and acquire new resources for future encounters. This is certainly not failure. Rather, it is the way that produces lasting change. It is the way of insight and growth. It is the way of love. (read RISKS)

"There is no failure except in no longer trying." (Elbert Hubbard)

ADDITIONAL QUOTATIONS

"Every time you acquire a new interest, even more, a new accomplishment, you increase your power of life." (William Lyon Phelps)

"With so many spectacular colors in the world, itís a shame to make everything black and white." (Dennis R. Little)

"The great thing about getting older is that you donít lose all the other ages youíve been." (Madeline LíEngle)

"Nobody has ever measured, even poets, how much the heart can hold." (Zelda Fitzgerald)

"I am more important than my problems." (Jose Ferrer)

"If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it." (Mother Teresa)

"The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose." (William Cooper)

"An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?" (Michel De Saint-Pierre)

Ö there is at least one must-be condition to our loving someone, and that is that they continue to grow as an individual, separately from usÖ It seems ironic, but it is true, that only in continuing to grow separately is there any hope of individuals growing together.

"Things do not change, we do." (Henry David Thoreau)

"People want riches. They need fulfillment." (Bob Conklin)

"My interest is in the future, because I am going to spend the rest of my life there." (Charles F. Kettering)

Love is not a competitive sport. Winning in love comes through cooperation, compromise and caring. When we become masters of these skills, everybody wins.

"There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home." (John Stuart Mill)

"If you would be loved, love and be lovable." (Benjamin Franklin)

"We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and along these fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back as effects." (Herman Melville)

"There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread." (Mother Teresa)

"You can work at something for twenty years and come away with twenty years worth of valuable experience, or you can come away with one yearís experience twenty times." (Gwen Jackson)

"If you havenít forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?" (Dolores Huerta)

"Itís not whether you get knocked down. Itís whether you get up again." (Vincent Lombardi)

"Minds are like parachutes: they function only when they are open." (Anonymous)

"Just as the wave cannot exist for itself, but must always participate in the swell of the ocean, so we can never experience life by ourselves, but must always share the experience of life that takes place all around ut." (Albert Schweitzer)

"Itís kind of fun to do the impossible." (Walt Disney)

Öeffective assertiveness is most often courteous, kind and gentle. It makes a point without bludgeoning another person into submission.

"When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that three of his fingers are pointing at himself." (Locus Nizer)

"To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another." (Gottfried Wilhelm van Lubreitz)

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do." (Helen Keller)

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you." (Dale Carnegie)

"The only justification we have to look down on someone is because we are about to pick him up." (Jesse Jackson)

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain, If I can ease one live the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin into his nest again, I shall not live in vain." (Emily Dickinson)

"Each of us will one day be judged by our standard of life Ö not by our standard of living; by our measure of giving Ö not by our measure of wealth; by our simple goodness Ö not by our seeming greatness." (William Arthur Ward)

"With a sweet tongue and kindness, you can drag an elephant by a hair." (Persian Proverb)

"Adversity not only draws people together, but brings forth that beautiful inward friendship, just as the cold winter forms ice figures on window panes, which the warmth of the sun effaces." (Soren Kierkegaard)

"Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves." (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin)

The more we attempt to demand love, the more it eludes usÖ. True love will only be given when earned.

"There are none so blind as they who will not see." (Anonymous)

"Learn to laugh at your troubles and youíll never run out of things to laugh at." (Lyn Karol)

"The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it." (Frank A. Clark)

"We have two ears and only one tongue in order that we may hear more and speak less." (Diogenes)

"People have one thing in common: they are all different." (Robert Zend)

"When you have nothing left but love, then for the first time you become aware that love is enough." (Anonymous)

"If you think you have given enough, think again. There is always more to give and someone to give it to." (Norman Vincent Peale)

"On this earth, though far and near, without love, thereís only fear." (Pearl S. Buck)

"What can pay love, but love?" (Mary de la Riviere Manley)

"We can only learn to love by loving." (Iris Murdoch)

"Man is what he believes." (Anton Chekhov)

"And stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and cypress grow not in each othersí shadow." (Kahlil Gibran)

"It isnít that they canít see the solutions. It is that they canít see the problem." (G.K. Chesterton)

"The applause of a single human being is of great consequence." (Samual Johnson)

"As long as one can admire and love, then one is young forever." (Pablo Casals)

"Love lights more fire than hate extinguishes." (Ella Wheeler Wilcox)

"Iím passionately involved in life. I love its change, its color, its movements. To be able to speak, to see, to hear, to walk, to have music and paintings Ö it is all a miracle." (Arthur Rubinstein)

"May you live all the days of your life." (Jonathan Swift)

"Freedom is nothing else but the chance to be better." (Albert Camus)

"I believe the first test of a truly great man is humility." (John Ruskin)

"Not to decide is to decide." (Harvey Cox)

"Love that asketh love again, finds the barter naught but pain. Love that giveth in full store, aye receives as much and more." (Dinah Mulock Craik)

"Love is not only something you feel. It is something you do." (David Wilkerson)

"Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome." (Samuel Johnson)

"Love one another, but make no bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each otherís cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone." (Kahlil Gibran)

"One forgives to the degree that one loves." (La Rochefaucould)

"When you look for the good in others, you discover the best in yourself." (Martin Walsh)

"The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work." (Robert Frost)

"One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears Ö by listening to them." (Dean Rusk)

"It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all." (Emmet Fox)

"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

"Problems are messages." (Shakti Gawain)

"Treat your wife like a thoroughbred and sheíll never be a nag." (Bumper Sticker)

"Donít be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin." (Grace Hansen)

"To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves." (Virginia Woolf)

"The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost." (G.K. Chesterton)

"Service isnít a big thing. Itís a million little things." (Anonymous)

"You will know them by their fruits." (Matthew 7:16)

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is a progress. Working together is success." (Anonymous)

"He who wants to do good, knocks at the gate. He who loves, finds the gate open." (Rabindranath Tagore)

"Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood." (Marie Curie)

"The deepest principle of human natures is the craving to be appreciated." (William James)

"Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it." (Alan Lakein)

"We always have enough time, if we but use it aright." (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

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