Enriching Lives through Online Training
Marriage – Two Different Worlds
(from Achieving a Celestial Marriage, Student Manual; The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)(© Intellectual Reserve, Inc. - Used by permission)
"When a couple begin their married life together, they little realize that there are cultural forces set in motion that tend to separate the couple. The reason for this is that they spend most of their waking hours in two separate worlds. The world of the husband is centered around providing a living for his family. The wife, on the other hand, confines most of her time in the world of the home. Where the couple began marriage ‘living for each other, ‘ they now spend most of their time assuming an independent role in their respective world.
"The culture requires a father to spend his time and energy toward achieving his ambition; thus much of his time is spent away from home putting forward his ‘best front.’ The wife is expected to provide a good home, raise the children and care for the domestic situation. As their marriage continues, unless the husband and wife deliberately do something to preserve and safeguard their interest in each other, the expectations of their respective roles will cause them to drift apart so that in time, their two worlds are completely isolated and separated."
"If a marriage is to be successful and joyful, not only must both husband and wife be conscious of the forces that tend to separate them, but they must take some positive steps to ensure their happiness." (The Savior, the Priesthood, and You, 1973-74 Course of Study for the Melchizedek Priesthood Quorums of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
Sharing the Two worlds
Learning to share their two separate worlds is a challenge that each married couple faces. This kind of relationship requires effort on the part of each partner—a 100 percent effort. The following are suggestions that could help couples to share their worlds.
1. Share Hopes and Ambitions with Each Other
Many men and women can bear testimony that when they confided their ambitions and desires to their companion, they were able from that point forward to sacrifice together to achieve this goal.
2. Share Problems Together
Growing together requires effort and sacrifice. Many times our innermost feelings are the most difficult to express. If a climate of understanding and love is established, couples will want to sharer their problems with each other and with the Lord. This sharing causes a three-way partnership to be formed and that partnership can help overcome the problem.
3. Share Experiences
The sharing of everyday experiences is vital to a relationship. It lets the other person know we really care. There is a tendency for couples to neglect this kind of sharing. It seems to be particularly difficult for some husbands to share their experiences, and when they come home tired from work they immediately hide behind the newspaper. The wife wants to talk about the day and share what happened at home, but the opportunity is denied her. A key area where sharing should be paramount has to do with the spiritual aspects of life. Testimonies, spiritual feelings, and faith-promoting experiences should be shared on a regular basis.
4. Share Moments Alone Together
Frequent dates together alone after marriage keep the lines of communication open and enable couples to share their worlds.