Enriching Lives through Online Training

(The following excerpts are from: The Worth of One: A Home Teacher’s Guide for Working with Inactive Members, by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the First Quorum of the Seventy, Ensign, Jan. 1983)

… My concern is for those sons and daughters of God among us who are so often described as "inactive." They constitute a valuable portion of our Church membership.
Often, the primary contact inactive members have with the Church is through the home teachers … … [Bishop Marion G. Romney] brought us to the realization that the first essential factor in successful home teaching to inactives is the home teacher himself. The home teacher’s own preparation, dedication, attitudes, and initiative are crucial.
… the second point to effectively reaching those who are supposedly unreceptive [is to] build a bridge of friendship before the subject of religion and Church involvement is broached. A relationship first established on the basis of good feelings will help to dissolve fears, uncertainties, and antagonisms and will open doors to understanding and acceptance of the gospel…. [to illustrate]… Some years ago a friend of mine was called on a stake mission. His daily work was managing a sizable supermarket. One of his customers was an elderly woman of means and prestige in the community. My friend developed a genuine empathy for her, did everything he could to express his appreciation for her patronage, and tried to fill her every request; he made it a point to carry her groceries to her car, open the car door for her, and see her homeward bound. He always smiled, spoke kind and gracious words, and gave her a friendly wave of the hand. She loved him for his friendly, helpful expressions of good will.
To his surprise, he happened to knock on her door one night while tracting with his stake missionary companion. She opened the door cautiously at first, then, seeing who was there, opened the door wider and happily exclaimed, "What a pleasant surprise!" He explained that he was not wearing his groceryman’s hat that night but was calling on her as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She said in response that she had her own religion, that for years she had refused to listen to the representatives of the Mormon church and had no interest in its message. But she exclaimed, "With you, it is different. Please come in. I want to hear what you, a splendid Christian gentleman, have to say." That was only the beginning. We don’t need to tell the whole story. It is enough to say that she joined the Church and loves it—because her heart was softened by this outstanding Latter-day Saint.
… A third fundamental in this exciting challenge of reclaiming the inactive is that of timing. The scripture rightly says: "To every thing there is a season, and time to every purpose under the heaven ." (Eccl. 3:1.) … The inactive families to whom you are assigned as home teachers may be more receptive when they have faced a specific hardship or when there is a significant event that takes place in their lives or in the lives of their children. Stay close to them and be prepared to be a spiritual influence in their lives when the time is right… [to illustrate]…My stake missionary friend had another convincing experience that taught him never to regard people as unchanging or unchangeable. They are neither stones nor stars. They are in constant motion… A doctor rebuffed my friend in his attempts to serve as a home teacher. This doctor was a Church member in name only. His door seemed to be permanently and tightly closed to representatives of the Church. Then one evening my friend was visiting the hospital and was surprised and saddened to find in one bed the intractable doctor. He humbly and courageously asked, "Wouldn’t you like us to give you a blessing?" "That, above all things right now, would help me most," affirmed the doctor, weak and dispirited. And that, said my friend, was what it took to reactivate this heretofore inactive brother. It seems that for everyone there is a time—if only the Spirit of God sensitizes our hearts to the action we should take! All of us have events in our lives that make us more receptive to change or help us to reevaluate our spiritual priorities. So it is with inactive members. …Your efforts to activate some families may require a long period of patient service, for "a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city." (Prov. 18:19.) People progress at their own rate, and some will require a longer period of time to become active. Be patient with them; this work takes time. …No single activation approach can reach everyone. The reasons some members are not active are as varied as the individuals themselves. Your plans to activate them must be made carefully and prayerfully, according to their need. The Lord alone knows the secrets to unlocking their hearts.
There are many members of the Church who need the strengthening influence of concerned brothers and sisters. . ‘Tis the human touch in this world that counts, … far more to the fainting heart than shelter and bread."

(Spencer Michael Frees, "The Human Touch," A Treasury of Inspiration, ed. Ralph L. Woods, New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co., 1951, p. 327.) … Focus on the father. … While home teachers play a vital role in working with inactive members, all Church members and organizations have a portion of the [reactivation effort].

The following is from "Strengthening the Less Active", By Elder A. Theodore Tuttle (Ensign, Oct. 1980, 10)

Between formal home teaching visits, make frequent informal calls. You can go without your companion occasionally to visit the man. Stand on his lawn and give him some theory on how to get rid of crabgrass—or how to get used to having it and not worrying about it any more! Go over when he’s digging in his garden. Help him. Take the family a loaf of bread. Share your fruits or vegetables or whatever is appropriate. Just do anything to gradually win his love. You could even make friends with his dog. Send birthday cards to all the children. When their children do something special write them letters or call them. You can rest assured that if you win the love and admiration of this man’s children you’ve earned the love and admiration of the man. Surely everyone knows that to win the heart of the daughter, you have to win the heart of her mother. Gradually through individual attention and frequent visits, friendships can be formed. Have the family over to dinner, go to the park or ball games or on picnics with them. When you’re assigned to inactive families, you have to have time to just go over and become their friend. In this way you build personal relationships. If it is a young couple, get a grandmother to go over and help with ideas on cooking, quilting, and managing, or to take care of the children. Have your wife take her shopping. Have your children tend her children while she shops. Have her bring her children over to your house while she is on some errand. If the man likes sports, invite him to play ball with the elders quorum. You could always take him and his son fishing. Invite him and his wife to come to the quorum socials. They come to know you and they come to trust you. They sense you are interested in them and truly care. Then when the golden and prayed-for moment comes, you can talk soul-to-soul about the things of God. In this kind of setting you can say, "Brother Jones, I want to help you become the spiritual leader in your home." Then it is easy to suggest that he should begin having family prayer, holding family home evening, studying the gospel, reading scriptural stories to his children, starting to keep the Word of Wisdom, and so forth. … [Indeed, at the appropriate time, a direct approach can/will be most effective]… Our missionary approach is direct. If it were not so, many people would not respond to the message of repentance. Many inactive members need the same approach. Probably ten percent of the inactive men would answer a call to repent right now and become an elder or get married in the temple. We must invite them.
One stake decided to take this direct approach. The home teachers called at fourteen homes and asked this direct question of the father: "Would you like to become an elder?" Of the fourteen fathers, fourteen replied, "Yes!" The home teachers said, "Good. Then we’ll be able to help you."
The Salt Lake Millcreek Stake had 500 prospective elders. One of our brethren told the leaders, "You can activate ten percent merely by an invitation." Up until that time they had ordained only fourteen elders all year. In the next two and one-half months they prepared forty-seven men to be ready for ordination at the next stake conference. They reported that all of them continued to be quite active in the Church. What were the reasons for their success? The stake members considered the challenge to be inspired, and the inactive men themselves wanted to improve.
These experiences are true of most stakes. The direct approach can bring success.

Brethren (this is Bro. White speaking), what this all "boils down to" is being shepherds, not sheep herders. And what are the characteristics of a shepherd? A shepherd KNOWS his sheep and LOVES them. He would even go so far as to protect them with his life. Do we know our families? Have we given them the opportunity to know us? Do they know we care? (i.e. Do we SHOW we care … by more than just a brief visit at the end of the month? ... and by calling for other reasons than just to set up an appointment?)